Not everyone’s – er – cup of tea, perhaps, but I adore teapot racing.
Never seen a steampunk teapot race? Well you do need to head off to your nearest Steampunk Convention/ Extravaganza/ Spectacular and experience the thrill of it for yourself.
Oh goodness, how ill-mannered of me! I forgot to introduce myself: Miss Peony Pinkerton. Delighted to make your acquaintance.
So yes, teapot racing. I have two pots of my own at the moment. The most decorative is the steam-powered contraption, but I also own a very servicable clockwork machine. Both have won numerous prizes, naturally.
Which is faster? It depends on the surface they are racing on, to be honest, but there’s not a great deal to choose between them.
Permit me to introduce myself – Barnaby Balsover, inventor, creator and tinker at your service.
I am the creator of gadgets and gizmos such as The Oracular Expedient, The Phosphorus Pumping Device, The Equilibrium Enhancer and the much-favoured Ginerator, many of which now grace the homes of Steampunk enthusiasts around the world.
Today I am delighted to present my Lucifer Device.
If I say so myself, this machine is a wonder. The casing is copper-coated. There are a plethora of gears and cogs to drive the engine (although persons from your dimension may prefer to use the on/off battery switch). When it is powered up, the entire device emits a purple glow and this is projected in a beam from the jewel at its tip.
I have named this light ray ‘extra violet’ and I am still investigating its properties. No doubt they will be of tremendous value to humankind once I have fully acquainted myself with all of them.
Alas, an inventor’s life is never easy and funds are hard to come by, so I have resorted (Oh the shame!) to selling myself and my device to any discerning collector who will be prepared to part with the derisory sum of £38 stirling at the Steampunk Dolls House. In this way, I hope to acquire sufficient money to finance my research and creations.
Fear not, Steampunk-Shrunk enthusiasts. Normal service will soon be restored.
The trouble is, there have been quite a few sales from the Steampunk Doll’s House recently, and Mrs S has agreed that each order will be turned around within three days. Not a problem when she is here, busily packaging us up in bubble wrap and boxes to travel off to distant lands. Now, though, she has her bags packed and is locking the gates of Steampunk Towers for a week or so, while she heads across the country to commune with family and nature.
Inconsiderate, we know, but she has been working hard, and she’s promised to add yet more stunning steampunk stock to the Etsy shop as well as booking various dolls house fairs and steampunk conventions where we can meet with the public once more, upon her return.
Meanwhile, enjoy perusing our many stories and we look forward to being reunited with you very shortly.
You will obviously have heard of harnessing the power of steam, water and even the energy stored in a tightly wound spring to produce power.
Have you, though, considered utilising the power produced by the impulses firing within your brain to power a device?
Certainly you would need to possess a superior brain – one that is filled with constant and highly original thoughts. I, Professor Digby Charlweston, am fortunate enough to have such an organ. Working in close collaboration with my dear friend and colleague Nick Tesla, I have engineered a device which transmits energy from my brain into a leather and metal-bound lamp. With sufficient concentration, I can send enough energy to produce a light brighter than any oil or gas lamp.
True, people snigger at my headgear when I am out and about. Some have the audacity to call me eccentric – or worse. Nevertheless, I have succeeded where countless others have failed.
“Thought is free,” The Bard said. So, then, is my power source: free and inexhaustible!
If you visit the SteampunkDollsHouse, you will find a 1:12 scale model of myself, by energy-transmitting headgear and the light generator, which may be purchased.