Well Mrs S was somewhat displeased when her aged printer finally gave up the ghost.
Charles was delighted, though, and had soon extracted something called a circuit board from the defunct machine.
“Take a look, Henry,” he said. “Spiffing base for another time machine!”
I had to agree, so we have a new model incorporating this futuristic technology with good old steampunk tradition.
Instead of a steering column, there’s something called a control deck. It pulses with multicoloured lights, naturally, and has a clock and time warp repeat button. (Well, someone might understand why…)
I left Charles to fiddle with the pod things that power it, but I insisted on installing a traditional safety valve.
For the comfort of our customers, we added a padded velvet cushion and a steel luggage rack. There is also a handy claxon which sounds automatically to warn anyone in the vicinity when the vessel is due to stop.
Not our most aesthetically pleasing craft, perhaps, but an intriguing machine, nonetheless.
I, Augustus Robottom, am delighted to announce the publication of my first illustrated catalogue of Robots.
Their popularity is such that I felt such a volume would be of general interest to prospective purchasers and robot enthusiasts alike.
Some of my acquaintances have complained that the size of the book (less than 1 x 1¼ inches) along with its consequently small print and illustrations is a barrier to reading it. Myself, I find the dimensions ideal, but for the benefit of the larger persons interested in reading my catalogue, I will print the edition’s contents below, so that all may enjoy it.
Robottom’s Robots Volume 1
Affectionately known as Milly, this robot performs the role of housekeeper. She ensures that all is as it should be and uses the aerial on her head to communicate wirelessly with any other robots in the vicinity. Thankfully, Milly is never overbearing or officious, but retains a calm, gentle demeanour at all times.
Like all of my machines, Robot M is made from random objects found littered around the inventor’s workshop.
This endearing little machine is a cleaning robot. It’s left arm is a powerful vacuum suction pipe, while the right is a brass-capped soft polisher. It is ideally suited to keeping any location spotless and will never suffer from fatigue or backache.
Like all of my domestic mechanical aides, Robot C is made from random objects found littered around my workshop, many of completely obscure origin.
This is my most fearsome little machine, since it performs the role of security robot. Despite his wonky wheels and dishevelled appearance, Robot E tirelessly patrols any building, using its powerful jaws to crush or at least deter trespassers.
Robot E is made from random items from my workshop. It’s new owner will spot steampunk gears, jewellery findings, beads, watch parts and other items cunningly upcycled to form this mechanical domestic aide.
G is a dapper little machine and performs the task of a valet robot. With his metal bowler hat and handlebar moustache, he certainly looks the part of a gentleman’s gentleman. Robot G has wheels for added speed, ready to bustle around his master, bringing orderliness and comfort.
I constructed Robot G from random objects found around my workshop. As the reader will by now have gathered, I am an incorrigible hoarder.
This helpful little device brews an excellent cup of tea and is able to provide endless refills. Its stereoscopic eyes can swivel, allowing it to check all parts of the room for thirsty individuals who might be in need of a refreshing beverage. The pressure gauge on its front prevents the urn from overheating and it can provide milk from the small caddy in its left hand if required.
As always, I constructed Robot T entirely from discarded items.
Watch out for Volume II of Robottom’s Robots.
Should you wish to purchase your own copy of this fully illustrated catalogue, please go to The Steampunk Dolls’ House where you will be able to download a file containing a 1:12 scale copy to construct for yourself, your dolls’ house, diorama or room setting. Full, simple instructions included.