Travel, naturally, is quite out of the question. Here we were, isolated in Steampunk-Shrunk Towers, wondering what to do with ourselves.
Mrs S – who is around the same size as yourselves, dear readers – claims that the building is a small and fairly cramped cottage, but since the rest of us (due to a certain, er, accident involving a spacetime anomaly which we prefer not to mention, Henry…) currently find ourselves shrunk to one twelfth of normal size, the residence appears positively cavernous. Walking from one wing to another can easily serve for our daily exercise.
Nevertheless, time had been hanging heavily.
Imagine our delight, then, when Molly hit upon the idea of opening her Literary Emporium to one of us each day. It is an exceedingly small establishment, so social distancing does not permit more than a single individual to enter the building at any time. Each of us has been issued with a card stamped with the dates for our visits and everyone is thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to peruse the many fascinating volumes available.
Only one thing marred our pleasure. Several upstanding and usually trustworthy members of our community mentioned catching glimpses of a tall, shadowy figure skulking around the Emporium. Rumours abounded as to the identity of this personage. This lockdown seems to make everyone a little jumpier than usual and some had claimed it was a creature conjured up by Dr Kopp, our resident mad scientist, who was recently seen taking an extreme interest in certain passages in the ancient Grimoire.
I didn’t for a moment believe such poppycock.
Oh goodness – manners! I failed to introduced myself. Abject apologies. That is me above and to the right – Gwendoline Thrustington-Clawhammer, tea-duelling district champion 1885, 1887 and 1891.
Yes, I know.
I did mention that it was a spaceTIME anomaly.
Anyway, my turn in the bookshop finally came around. I became quite mesmerised by the Book of Spells and lost track of the time. Fearing that I’d be late for an afternoon tea appointment, I rose quickly from my seat and at the same moment heard a definite sound outside the shop. I had the distinct feeling that someone had been spying on me and that my sudden movement had startled them.
“Ava?” I called, “Is that you?” (Madame Ava Brassfeather is most prone to sneaking around the place, so naturally I suspected her.) Then I recalled the stories about the mysterious stranger. For a moment, I blush to admit, I considered screaming. Thankfully I quickly came to my senses and hurried out to see who was there.
I was just in time to see a tall and muscle-bound gentleman trying to duck behind the far wall.
“You there! Halt at once and reveal yourself!” I cried, in my most imperious tone, hoping earnestly that he wouldn’t misinterpret my hurried command.
The figure turned to face me and although he cut a commanding presence, I noted that his eyes looked calm and, indeed, rather sad.
“Ah,” he said, softly. “Ma’am I do hope I didn’t startle you unduly. Please forgive my intrusion.”
His accent appeared to be that of an American gentleman, from the southern States, I suspected. His gentle demeanour mollified me somewhat, but the fact remained that he was undoubtedly a trespasser.
In a slightly quieter tone, but still – I hoped – with a certain air of authority, I replied, “I am not easily startled, Sir, but I wish to know how you come to be in this private residence and what your business is.”
“Yes Ma’am, of course,” he responded. “I can see that my presence here must look most suspicious. My name is Clark Obadiah Jackson III. I’m searching for someone who is – very dear to me. The honest truth is, Ma’am, I can’t rightly explain how I came to be in this building, exactly, unless you are in any way familar with the notions of – uh – time travel and teleportation?”
He was fingering a device attached to his left wrist as he spoke. I suspected (correctly, it later emerged) that he was considering activating it in some way to vacate our particular time and space if he met with too much hostility.
Now that I studied his face more closely, I realised there was something faintly familiar about it. I knew he did not belong in Steampunk-Shrunk Towers and was fairly certain our paths had never crossed, yet that slight memory or familiarity could not be discounted. I realised that I did not wish him to leave as suddenly as he had appeared. On the contrary, I was extremely curious to hear his story.
“I am – unfortunately – more familiar with time travel and teleportation than I would wish to be, Mr Jackson,” I assured him. “Indeed, all the residents of Steampunk-Shrunk Towers have personal experience of its uses and often rather unfortunate side effects. I suggest we take a seat in the Emporium whilst you recount your story.”
“Well that’s mighty civil of you, Ma’am, in the circumstances. I truly do appreciate it.”
He doffed his hat to me in the most charming way and followed me into Molly’s little shop.
I lit the oil lamp and waited with considerable excitement to hear of Mr Clark Obadiah Jackson III’s adventures.
To be continued.
Just imagine our amazement when the infamous Dr Oskar Kopp and his ‘enhanced’ assistant Bjørn arrived. They had left us several years ago to accompany a reknowned storyteller and share their tales with her audiences. Now, it seems, the good lady is moving to another continent and asked whether she could return these gentlemen and their laboratory to us.
“But what about these small, er, devices of yours?” Mrs S enquired.
The very next day, Mr Coggleford the furniture restorer and young Jasper, his son and apprentice, told us that they intended to follow in Gus’s footsteps and would be taking one of the time machines as well as one of their finest cabinets with them.
‘My dear Mr. Miller!’ exclaimed Josephine ‘What a surprise! – how did you get here?’
‘It seems to have worked- and here…’ Ashley rummaged behind the seat, ‘should be a miniaturised version of that very guidebook for you!’
Oh, there will be those who purchase the book and then complain that its print is too small to read. So as is our custom, we will reproduce the text here in its entirety.
Our latest sales venture is hiring a glass cabinet in a beautiful craft emporium in the Somerset town of Street.
The purveyors of our products were the most splendidly attired persons I had ever encountered. Even Mrs S, who is quite used to these affairs, was impressed and kept taking photographs of them, a few of which I will reproduce here.
I confess I was quite delighted when a charming lady and gentleman agreed to purchase my latest time machine. I often wonder where my customers will end up when they head off on their temporal journeys.
I am Alice. I was Mrs S’s first ever makeover. I permit myself to believe that I will always hold a special place in her heart for that reason alone. Then there was Bertie, the military gent who made maps of uncharted lands for the Ordnance Survey, Lars, the mysterious inventor who never removed those dark glasses and William, the rather aloof and dapper man with the dart-launcher chained to his arm.
Bertie was the first to leave. Just imagine his delight when he discovered that his new guardian was to be the very same lady who had, on a previous occasion, purchased Leonora. A match made in heaven, we all agreed. We could imagine those two intrepid explorers heading off to discover new lands and treasures together. How could we be anything but delighted?
Lars was the next to depart. His new guardian was also a returning customer. The young man had bought that very worrying time machine with the flashing lights. I was glad to see that go. It made me nervous. Now here he was again, eyeing each of us intently and trying to decide which of us would be the machine’s inventor. Well clearly it had to be Lars. William would never get his hands grubby with oil or grease and – well – do I look like the kind of person who would go galivanting around in a time machine? Obviously not.
So by the end of the day, only William and I remained.
Steampunk - Shrunk! 